Holiday Schmoliday

Happy holidays, everyone!  Mele Kalikimaka me ka Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!

Pop Goes The Krampus

Aaaand the Krampus returns!  And I am way late with this.  I am so sorry, folks.  Please complain and read me the riot act so I know you care.

Sekrit Admurur

Stupid hormones

I am so sorry I'm late!  My new work schedule is messing me up!

Poor little demon

Have a great Thanksgiving, folks!  I'm thankful for every single reader!

Serious Talk

So yes, for the reference of my readers, I DO respond personally to complaints.  When I feel like it.

Smash Hit

You Are Now Entering... The Friendzone

Adam is having none of your patronizing blahblah.

Happy November, kiddos!  You like me?  Maybe give me a vote up on Top Webcomics!

 Images from Oni Con Hawaii, 2013.  I had a great time!  Even though I didn't sell hundreds of bucks worth of schwag, even though the general crowd wasn't interested in my style of art, it was so much fun to meet people, to interact with brilliant cosplayers and young comic lovers, young girls diving into a world previously dominated by mid-thirties-and-forties dudes and ROCKING it, everyone being supportive and loving and fun and delightful and fabulous.

If you, gentle readers, are any of the folks thus pictured, or any of the hundreds of fabulous folks I didn't snap, and you followed the web address to check out my weird little comic world -- welcome.  You were fantastic, and so was I.

I would hang with any and all of you at any time.

For readers new and less new, hit me up on the Tumblr here, or the Facebook here, and let's all be nerds together.

Halloweenie

Happy Halloween, my friends!  If you're here in Hawaii, come see me at Oni-Con this weekend!

Happy Little Thunderstorm

Halloween is cooooooming!

AND THE NEW BOOK IS HERE!  You know you want it, so go get it!

Declarations of Affection

I've been toying with the idea of moving the comic (again, which is actually a pain in my ass).  I've received some very understandable complaints about this site's weird navigation, and might try to find something better for y'all.  Stay tuned.

Daydream Believer

Yes, this is actually, factually, what I dream about.

Hey friends.  like this comic enough to want to help me keep it going?  Got a few giggles from me in the past?  Please consider donating to my comic con fund, and help me keep the dream alive.  My paypal account is here, or since the link never seems to work for more than 24 hours, you can hit the donation button on the side panel.  Also, check out this post to learn about the cool prizes you can get if you donate a bit more.  As always, thanks so much for reading!

False Alarm returns!

The False Alarm quotes many people in my life. 

Hey, if you like the strip, and you want to show me some love and help me keep it going, please consider dropping a buck or two into my paypal donation account!  (The link never seems to work when I fix it, so if you have problems, my paypal email is mambo_lotus@hotmail.com!_HUGE and emphatic thanks go out to Jules Fishwick, Jiz Henley, Jan Swijsen, Olivia O'Connor, Natalie Daley, Marissa Partridge, Mel Frisbie, Anne Lashua, and my dear Dad, for donating already.  You are all superheroes!

Click here to donate to my possibly-worthy cause, and check out what prizes you might get for donating right here!

Get me to the Con on time!

Aloha, gentle readers!  As some of you may know, I live in the distant land of Hawaii.  While Hawaii is not short on turtles and pineapple, it does lack comic conventions.  We bum artists depend on these to get the word out about our toons.  The only two cons on my island are anime-centric, so I stand little chance of being loved anyway, but I’m taking my chance on Oni-Con this November.  For this, I need to pay for the printing of some of my books, which would include not only the first volume of Snap Crackle Pop which hopefully you all already have (if not, go thither!) but also a BRAND SPANKING NEW SNAP CRACKLE POP BOOK coming out very very soon.

In short, I need some dough.  If you like my comic, if it has provided you with giggles over the years, if you want to support we of the ink stained comedic world, please drop a little change in my tip jar, whatever you think the comic is worth.  It would go a long way to helping me continue providing you with chicks and monsters and one or two yuks.  You can drop your dough at my paypal right here!  

Why should you donate?  if “because I love Kit and her demonic companions” isn’t enough, here are a few prizes!

$1-$5 donations: You will receive the gratitude and love of your cartoonist, along with a personal thank-you on the SCP website!  Yay for you!

$10: In addition to the special thanks, you’ll get two vinyl SCP stickers to slap anywhere you like!  Woohoo!

$15: You get the special thanks, two stickers, and a Snap Crackle Pop 4x6 print of your choice from among many full-color promo illustrations by your cartoonist.  Send along your print preference with your donation and it shall be thine!

$20: All the abovementioned prizes are yours for the grabbing, BUT rather than one SCP print, you shall have THREE!  And also, you are stunning in that outfit, my god.  You must stop traffic lookin’ like that.

$30: All the above prizes will be yours except rather than just three prints, you receive ALL SEVEN of the offered prints!  You also will obtain the secret powers of a werewolf.
$40: $40: Wow!  I had to add this category cause some of you loons donated this much!  Yay for you!  You will get everything mentioned above, PLUS a t-shirt from my SCP Schwag Shoppe, or an SCP book, whichever you like.  And also I will telepathically hug you all week.

I would just love it if you’d send a buck or two my way.  Thanks a million and keep reading!

The prints on offer are below!

As well as another sooper secret print that can only be found if you give me a vote here!

Homely Unemotional

This has been going through my mind lately.  Can you spot the references in the background to my biggest influences?

Mer-Love

Wanna be my friend?  Vote for me here!

Self Loathing on a New Level

And now you get a glimpse of several Kits...

No Bueno

Granny Wars

Wanna be my pal?  Vote for me!

Oh, snap!

My lettering still leaves something to be desired, but I think my illustration is getting a lot more realistic!

(You have Misha Collins and GISHWHES to thank for this one, readers.  Sorry.)

Not-So-Grandparents

Give me a vote, campers!

Getting Personal

I'm so sorry to be late!  I totally blanked.

August Teaser

Wanna see what I made you?

Give me a vote!

Grand Dilemma

Wanna be my grandparent?  Vote for me here!

Inner Demon Blues

We Be Jammin

Wanna do me a favor?  VOTE, CRAZY.

Snap Back! Interview the Second

Aloha, gentle readers!  Here are the answers to your kind inquiries!  Many thanks to those fab muhfuggaz who asked questions of the SCP cast, and many thanks to those of you reading!

Captain-Black-Rose: For Morgan, Bacon, and Finn separately: WHY are you trying to corrupt Kit?  Do you remember?  (Do you even remember who you work for?)

MORGAN: I know EXACTLY what I'm doing here, love.  Remember which one of us has been tempting the innocent since before you apes cooked your food.  Kit NEEDS me -- she's gotten very comfortable in that lonely little bubble of hers, without a glimpse into the sinful side of life.  I intend to pop that bubble.  With every tool I possess.  EVERY tool.

BACON: Yeeeeaahhh, see, I'm tryin' to keep the kid IN that bubble.  Kit's plenty screwed up in the coconut without any of us, okay?  But carefully driving her away from any real social attachments, convincing her that she's better off staying home eating chips and watching Destination Truth?  That's all me.

MORGAN: I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just want to make it clear what I meant when I was referring to my tool earlier.

FINN: Oh my grits an' gravy, WE GET IT.  Anyway, I shouldn't be saying this, but my job's kinda... complicated.  At the moment I'm your Class F: general irritation and patience eliminator.  I started as a Class B, but since Morgan showed up... well, I guess things changed.  As for the boss... let's just say you don't want to meet him.  I'VE never met him.  But I got close, and... well, best not to talk about it.

MORGAN: I'm talking about my glorious manhood.  Just saying.

FINN & BACON: WE GET IT!

Maeria: How was the rebirth experience for Randall?

RANDALL: O you kno it was prety grate! I kinda forgot whut hapened after I pushd Mordak an the loud sound.  I had a dream about these giyant bunnys and they were so flufy!  They had these little wigglee noses an I cudint stop lookin at them!  They had lots of ice cream and they gave me some an it tasted grate!  When I wok up, Mordak was bein nice to me.  BEST DAY EVAR.

CoGVenjo: I would like to know if Morgan has done any soul searching while hanging out at Kit's house.  If the sudden death and resurrection (of sorts) of Randall made any impact at all on him.

MORGAN: What's a Randall?  And my dear child, I haven't searched for my soul since 1720 when I hooked up with that saucy pirate strumpet, and she sailed us to Tierra del Fuego where I saw it last.  Never did find the damned thing, but I suppose that's why it's damned, no?  Truth be told, I don't miss it.  All that uncertainty, the morals... who needs it?  Not I.  Not at all.

Captain-Black-Rose: For Kit: Favorite superhero, Alice in Wonderland character, and Hanson brother.  GO.

KIT: Ooohh, favorite superhero is tough.  I'm obviously not as well versed in superheroes as my pal Adam, but I'd have to say from the bits I've read and learned, Captain Marvel (Shazam) is my favorite.  What's better than an all-powerful super strong hero who is really just a little kid in another body? 

As for Alice in Wonderland, I have to go with a cliche and say I was a Hatter girl from waaayyy back.  I was surprised to find what a huge thing it was when I got older, but something about him, his charming insanity, really stuck with me.

And well, Hanson brother, it's been Zac since I was 11.  Always will be.

Maeria: Where's Stephen?

Captain-Black-Rose: How's Stephen doing?  Has he achieved nirvana or enlightenment or bliss?  Is he any closer to being a prima donna ballerina?

STEPHEN: Oh my, two queries after me!  I am greatly honored by your compassion.  I am quite well, I thank you -- Kit has most graciously added a little temple and small pineapple in the manner of someone called Sponge Bob to my modest tank.  Though I do not require such attentions, her kindness moves me.  Nirvana and enlightenment are a lifelong pursuit, and I have much to learn.  As for bliss, such a thing is so very simple to achieve if one only observes the wonder and majesty of life all around!

BACON: So you can see why Mister Sunshine isn't in the comic a lot.  I'd like to karma him right in the face.

Maeria: Is Morgan aware that Kit batted away the perfect man and therefore should have no trouble resisting him?

MORGAN: If by "perfect man" you're referring to ME, thank you, treacle.  You should already know I am as the salted dark chocolate: irresistible for very long.

KIT: She's talking about the Perfect Man, a figment of my imagination from early on.  And he looked like Thor and spoke like Cyrano and acted like Tom Hiddleston.  So you, demon, can shove it.

MORGAN: *flipping through Snap Crackle Pop comic book* Hang on, got some research to do... 

CoGVenjo: Adam, I would like to know your favorite albums/bands and if any are significant to your feelings toward Kit.

ADAM: Well, Band of Horses, the album "Cease to Begin", I pretty much always associate with Kit.  Every time I hear it, it just brings her right to my mind.  One of my favorite records is Love: "Forever Changes", a personal favorite.  Obviously, I love David Bowie, but I can't narrow down a favorite album -- maybe "Let's Dance".  Love the Beastie Boys: "Paul's Boutique" and of course The Beatles: "Help!" has to be my favorite Beatles record, and I played it a lot for Kit when we were first getting to know each other.

Maeria: What is Kit's favorite outfit?

Kit: If I can be comfy and not look like a water buffalo, I'm a happy girl.  Generally a short dress over some soft jeans is my go-to for a good self-esteem outfit.  When I dressed like that as a kid, everyone made fun of me, but now all the chicks are doing it.  Go figure that one.

FINN: I like you in that orange dress.

KIT: Finn, that dress is way too small for my boo --- oh jeez, you sick lizard.

FINN: What?  I'm a guy, I'm not made of stone!

Noface-knitting:  Morgan: So I thought you were out just to seduce Kit, but it seems like you've got some feelings for her now... Is it love?

MORGAN: Love?  My darling, I haven't been in love in centuries.  I think I know a little better than that, at my age.  Make no mistake, my precious thing, Kit is a job, and one I happen to excel at.  Get in, corrupt, and get out, those are the rules, and I'm not about to forget them for some infantile human with a pencil behind her ear and a weakness for Pablo Neruda poetry.  I will do and say whatever it takes to break down that iceberg, make her worship me, then leave her brokenhearted so my people can claim her in her despair.  So, yes, I suppose it is love.  I love my job.

Maeria: What does Bacon eat?  (i kinda take him for a vegetarian).

BACON: I could lie, but I ain't gonna.  I love a good BLT.

FINN: But Bacon, that's a... no.  No!

BACON: Don't judge me.  I can't help that I'm delicious.

FINN: *runs to bathroom*

Captain-Black-Rose: I'd love to know your very best chocolate cake recipe.

MORDAK: YOUR LORD MORDAK SHALL FIELD THIS QUERY!  I have a most delicious and satisfying recipe for you, human.  TAKE ONE POUND OF FRESH DESPAIR, SIX CUPS OF HUMAN FEAR, THE CONCENTRATED ESSENCE OF THE SCREAMS OF THE DOOMED, AND A HEAPING SCOOP OF MY RAGE --

KIT: That'll do, Mordak.  I use the box mix but undercook it juuuust slightly.  Moist as all getout.

CoGVenjo: For Finn - Do you have any hobbies or interests that don't quite make it into the strip? Music? Movies? Crafts? Reading?

FINN: I'm actually big into gardening!  I never get time to do it cause I'm so busy destroying everything Kit touches, but back home, my tomato plants and ghost peppers were the envy of the clan!  Sometimes it's nice to take a break from demon-ing and just make something grow.

MORDAK: LIES FROM THE FORKED TONGUE OF THIS LIZARD BEAST!  Thou hast never once watered me.

FINN: You're pokey and you say mean things and you always threaten to kill me.

MORDAK: Your tears are my ambrosia.

Maeria: What will Kit do now that she knows that Finn has the hots for her too?  

WALRUS OF DENIAL: I think I should take this one.

KIT: You get out of here!  Where do you come from, anyway?

FINN: KIT KNOWS I HAVE --- ahem.  Miss, I think you must be mistaken.

KIT: Well, you did try to smooch me, bro.

FINN: No!  What?  You cray cray, girl.  I was trying to... mind meld.  With you.  To better plague you with my infernal influence.

KIT: Oh is that what that was.  Didn't know you were Vulcan.

FINN: YOU'RE Vulcan!

Anonymous: Mordak, Mordak in your pot- will I get this job after which I've sought?

MORDAK: HUMAN HUMAN, AT THE MALL

MORDAK SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL.

Maeria: Where's Perfect these days, does he keep in touch?  

KIT: Oh, you know the Perfect Man.  He's been working with wounded rescue dogs ever since he successfully performed an emergency heart transplant on a golden retriever.  He was hand-sewing shoes for an orphanage in Ghana last month, and before that I think he appeared on Supernatural.

CoGVenjo: Kit!  You were making such headway on shooing all of the demons out of your home and being more centered and then they all came piling back in like a bad case of food poisoning - what happened?  Have you decided "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em"?  Are you learning to love your demons in order to see yourself more clearly?  or did you just run out of "demon spray"?

KIT: That's complicated.  I got rid of them for a while, but they always creep their way back in.  If I pretend they're not there, they just get crazier.  But we've all got demons, you know?  For some of us, it's a bad temper, for some it's fear or impatience or apathy.  For me, it's a bunch of idiot monsters who won't get off my couch.  Loving them may never happen, but loving myself, demons and all... okay, that may never happen either.

Maeria: If each of the SCP cast were another kind of animal, what would they be?

FINN: I'd be a big, scary DRAGON!  Oh, wait.  I'm a dragon already.

BACON: Sure you are.  Like a skink-dragon.

FINN: That's a thing?  No way.  I wanna be a big bird of prey!  A falcon!  Yeah!

BACON: You look more like a cow.  I would be a pit bull.  Don't nuthin' mess with this.

MORGAN: I'm already a tiger in so many ways, particularly under the sheets.  That's what I'd be.

STEPHEN: I would dearly love to be a panda, that I might spend my days munching bamboo and contemplating the universe.

KIT: Elephant, without a doubt.  They're chill, they're smart, they love each other, and they can be badass if they need to be.

ADAM: Well, if I couldn't be the Yeti, I'd probably go gorilla.  I kinda look like one.  Plus their scientific name is gorilla gorilla, how boss is that?

MORDAK: I WOULD BE CTHULHU.

RANDALL: I'm Randall!

CoGVenjo: For Adam - You've probably seen more of Kit's demons and self-deprecating humor than anyone else and you're still sticking around. Do you feel unfazed by her apprehensions and insecurity because you have your own? Do you feel like you can handle it because you handle your own so well? Or do we just not see your demons and self-deprecation in the strip because this isn't "The Adam Show" on KIT'S comic?

ADAM: Oh, we've all got issues, that's for sure.  I have the confidence of a wet sock, and I'm pretty sure I'm the kind of nerd that drives people away with his endless banter about Aquaman and Star Trek.  I guess around Kit, I try to hold it back because I know her issues are so fierce, they're, like, right up in her face, messing up her life and eating all her cheese.  She's a cool chick, she just has problems with connecting to other people.  I haven't been able to find out why yet, but it probably has something to do with why these crazy monsters flock to her and get up in her business.  I feel like she needs someone to be sane around her, for as long as it takes.

COGVenjo: For Randal and Mordak - Do you two feel that you've grown closer since the death and resurrection of Randal?

RANDALL: O Mordak an me ar always close!  he's actual a real nice guy wunce you get past how he yells and hates everbody.  After I woke up he let me make popkorn and watch Spongebob and he even sat near me an only calld me a morawn once!

MORDAK: ALL LIES!  I was only relieved that I would not have to search for another assistant!  Randall is fool enough to follow where I lead and fetch me whatever I require to work my brilliant schemes.  It is no easy task to find an agreeable Igor.  I was simply looking forward to ordering him around more.

RANDALL: He huggd me.

MORDAK: DID NOT!

Anonymous: Has Morgan ever been (sincerely) heartbroken?

MORGAN: Once.  Joan of Arc.  I lost that girl in every way it is possible to lose one, and then some.  I wasn't myself for centuries.  But!  Ancient history.  Let's talk about my junk some more.

Woohooligan: Morgan: How big is and/or describe your junk.  Finn, same question?

MORGAN: At last!  Let me say, first of all, that you know nothing of obscene size until you've seen---

FINN: Junk?  What junk?

MORGAN: It's a human term, modern, vernacular.  I got this handbook.  It means your naughty bits, your boy toys, your precious equipment.

FINN: My LEGO collection?

MORGAN: You blasted lizard.  They want to hear about my MANHOOD.

FINN: You don't have a hood.  You barely ever wear shirts.

MORGAN: Wait a tic, you wear nothing at all.  Where are you hiding your stuff anyway?

FINN: YOU'LL NEVER FIND MY CANDYBARS!

Noface-knitting: Kit: If Snap Crackle Pop were turned into a movie, what actors would be cast to be the characters?

KIT:  Ooohh, I'd have to ask for Caroline Dhavernas from Wonderfalls (and I guess she's in this Hannibal thing?).  She's way hotter than I'll ever be, but that's what we shoot for, yeah?  plus she played a character named Kit opposite Adrien Brody, who needs to get in my bedroom YESTERDAY.

For Morgan, I'd go with Sendhil Ramamurthy, who is hotness personified, and who played Mohinder on Heroes.  Paint him green and there ya go.  Google him now.  I'd google him plenty.

MORGAN: YEAH you would.  

ADAM: Back on topic, girlfriend.

KIT: Right.  Sorry.  Adam is a tough one.  I mean, as long as I'm dreaming, I want the delectable Lee Pace.

ADAM: Not Mexican.

KIT: Diego Luna, then.

ADAM: Too angular.

KIT: Idris Elba.

ADAM: I have no problem with that.

FINN: Can I get George Clooney to play me?

BACON: And I want Deniro.

KIT: DeVito, more like.  But no, we're going full animated for you guys.  None of that cheesy Marmaduke crap, either, I want it to look like Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

BACON: No one will go see it without explosions.  I wanna be played by Vin Diesel, Finn by The Rock, get some no-name for the rest of you clowns and have me driving a Dodge Charger into a fireball.  BOOM.  Summer blockbuster.

FINN: Uh, Bacon?  Hang on, some guy named Michael Bay is on the phone?

KIT: Kill me now.

That's it for the Snap Back this time, kids! Many mahalos and big warm hugs to everyone who asked questions!  Thanks for reading, participating, and staying with me through all my crazy shenanigans!  

Yo Kaiju Kaiju

Hey kids, you know what's cool?  VOTING FOR MEEEEEE.

Kaiju alert

Sorry I'm late!

Votey!

Click here to vote for me and see the whole glorious picture!

Call me!

Hey kids!  Phone or write your local Snap Crackle Pop provider with your questions for the cast!  Anything you want answered in an upcoming interview?  Grill Bacon on his love life!  Ask Finn about his childhood!  Find out more about Morgan's true intentions!  Ask for advice, recipes, predictions of the future!  Anything goes, and all questions will be answered.

Submit your queries here or wherever you can contact your local bum cartoonist.

Fear and Dread

Read the whole poem here!  it's creepy and awesome.

Also, vote for your girl here.

Also also: I'm going to do another Snap Back! Interview, gentle readers, so if you have any questions for any member for the Snap Crackle Pop cast and crew, drop me a line wherever you can get a hold of me!  I'll collect questions this week and answer them next.  No question is off-limits, so go wild!